Welcome to my sharing series where I will be documenting my final year study at School of Computer Sciences of Universiti Sains Malaysia, which has been one of the most challenging period of my uni life so far.
Most people only see the bright side of others and don't realize the struggles that they may be going through. I want to change that by sharing my journey with you.
I want to show you the highs and lows, the victories and defeats, and everything in between. I hope that through my experiences, you will gain insight and inspiration to overcome your own challenges. So let's begin this journey together! 🥳
Month 1 (October 2022)
Academic: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Relationship: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Self-care: ⭐⭐⭐☆☆
After two years of online distance learning, it was refreshing to be back on campus for face-to-face classes. I am grateful to have been allocated a hostel that is just a 5-minute walk from my school. The classes were enjoyable, and I even had the opportunity to deliver a sharing to the Computer Science freshies.
However, things started getting busy as I began preparing for the campus election. I have always dreamt of being part of the student representative council and now, after a delay of two years due to the Covid situation, I finally have the opportunity to run for the school constituency. With the power of being a student representative, I am determined to push for more initiatives that benefit the USM community.
In the midst of all this, I also managed to submit my FYP (Final Year Project) proposal on time. While I am glad to have met the deadline, I found myself staying up late more often than I would like to. 😅😅
Month 2 (November 2022)
Academic: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Relationship: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Self-care: ⭐⭐☆☆☆
it has been an eventful month. I suspected that I had a hairline crack in my leg, which made it difficult for me to walk. I visited multiple clinics and went for X-rays to confirm my condition. Fortunately, the doctors confirmed that it was just a bruise, and I was relieved to hear this news. 😊🙌
Despite my injury, I was also busy with the campus election, working tirelessly day and night to prepare for it. I am grateful for my friends who have supported me through this challenging time, helping me with ad-hoc events, poster design, photography, and discussing my MPP blueprint. 💖💖
In mid-November, it was also the General Election day (GE 15) and I went back to Ipoh to cast my vote. It was a short break that allowed me to spend some quality time with my family, but the traveling did tire me out. 😅
Towards the end of November, things took a turn for the worse when I fell off my motorcycle and injured my hand. 🤕 Unfortunately, I did not have time to tend to my wound due to time constraints, and this added to the chaos of my already busy schedule.
My day-to-day routine was like a rollercoaster ride, rushing from one place to another with no time for meals or rest. As a result, I did not make much progress on my FYP, which is a source of concern for me. Despite all these challenges, I am determined to stay positive and focus on my goals!
Month 3 (December 2022)
Academic: ⭐☆☆☆☆
Relationship: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Self-care: ⭐☆☆☆☆
This month has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and challenges. I have been struggling with self-doubt about participating in the campus election, but in the end, I decided to go for it. To my surprise, I won the election without any contestants. 🥳
However, my victory was short-lived as I tested positive for Covid the next day and had to quarantine for four days. 😭😭 Although I missed classes and was unable to make progress on my part-time jobs, I used this time to take a break and focus on my health.
After the quarantine period, my cough worsened, and I struggled to sleep. I had to take cough syrup and medication every day, and sometimes, I would cough until I vomited. Due to the chronic cough, I had to isolate myself from people and even missed more classes. It was a lonely period, and I missed my friends dearly. I struggled to eat and often went without food for a day, causing me to lose weight. 😭
Furthermore, I had to balance my responsibilities towards the welfare of hundreds of computer science students, which added to my already overwhelming stress levels. It was challenging, but I knew that I could not neglect these duties as they were crucial for the well-being of the students. 🥲🥲
To add to my worries, I went for an X-ray to check my lung, and it was diagnosed with long Covid! I met with three doctors, and they all said that there is nothing they can do for my condition, and some people took months or even years to recover.
This news devastated me as I did not know when I would recover from the cough or how long I would have to isolate myself from my loved ones. ☠️
All of this has affected my academic progress, and I have not made much progress on my FYP. I feel lost and clueless about how to continue my journey after this. My academic future is at stake, and I fear that I may not be able to achieve my goals.
Month 4 (01 - 10 January 2023)
Academic: ⭐☆☆☆☆
Relationship: ⭐☆☆☆☆
Self-care: ⭐☆☆☆☆
January was a tough month, with several significant events and challenges that tested my mental and physical health.
The first part of January was particularly difficult, as I struggled to recover from a month-long bout of coughing. However, I found that taking honey was very effective in relieving my symptoms.
Despite my recovery, I continued to struggle with overwhelming stress and an unhealthy lifestyle. I pushed away my friends and skipped lectures, missing most assignment deadlines and even my FYP first presentation. At one point, I considered postponing my studies altogether. 👎👎
Feeling lost and overwhelmed, I went to my lecturer's office to request that my second assignment be marked as a failure. I explained my health condition and my belief that I couldn't complete the assignment on time.
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: "Dr, could you please give me a zero mark for this assignment? I really couldn't make it."
Dr: "No... You're a good student. I can't give you a zero mark."
Me: "It's okay."
Dr: "No... Now you just need to do the bare minimum. Don't worry about making it perfect. Just submit something."
Dr's words hit me hard, and I couldn't hold back my tears. I thought about how I had overcome so many challenges to get to my final year of study. I knew I had the strength to get through this too. I decided to try my best to submit the assignments on time. 💪💪
I started to push my friends away, not wanting to burden them with my negative energy. But they wouldn't let me go so easily. They listened, supported, and even let me sleep overnight in their room to prevent me from overthinking. 🙆♀️🙆♀️👂
I realized who my true friends were in my lowest moments.
They not only supported me emotionally but also helped me plan my studies and how to tackle each assignment. Some even shared their submitted assignments with me to give me an idea of what was expected.
Though my academic progress suffered, I was grateful for the support of my friends and my lecturer, who showed me compassion and understanding during this tough period.
Month 4 (11 - 31 January 2023)
Academic: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Relationship: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Self-care: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
During the second half of January, I was able to turn things around and make significant progress in my academic, relationship, and self-care goals. 🙌💖
I managed to get back on track with a concrete plan for catching up on my assignments and presentations. After falling behind due to illness and an unhealthy lifestyle, I realized I had to take control of my situation. I focused solely on my academics for a week, buying a new monitor to increase my productivity, and finished all my delayed assignments.
This hard work paid off, and I was able to submit everything on time, giving me hope for the future. I even completed my FYP first presentation and was satisfied with my performance, having practiced it many times. 👏👏
I also published my first Hashnode article on my personal blog, which was a significant achievement for me. I had previously published two articles on another team blog, but this one felt more personal and meaningful!
During this difficult time, I realized the importance of taking care of myself so that I could take care of others. I started to prioritize self-care, reducing my late nights, exercising more, and not skipping meals. I also gave back to the community by hosting a session to guide NLP students on how to complete their assignments and published an article on 11 things to consider before accepting internship offer. 🥳
I am grateful to my friends who supported me through this tough period, and my FYP supervisor, who was always there to help me. This experience has taught me many valuable lessons and revised my life priorities.
Month 5 (February 2023)
Academic: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Relationship: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Self-care: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
As I prepare for my final exams, some days feel dull and repetitive. 😴 With three papers to sit for and a week-long gap between each paper, I know I need to focus on studying and revision to ensure I do my best. However, I also want to make the process more enjoyable, so I decided to write six articles for revision notes. 😊ChatGPT has been a helpful tool throughout my studies, and I am grateful for its presence.
Reflecting on my journey so far, I realized that ChatGPT would have been even more helpful during my internship last year. If it had been available then, my learning experience would have been smoother and more efficient. 😭 As my final year project comes to an end, I plan to write an article on how I used ChatGPT in my studies. 💪💪
During a recent visit to DELL technologies, Mr. Leonard's sharing was very inspiring. One key takeaway was that we can create opportunities and fill gaps by understanding the process flow of a task. Everything is a process, and knowing how things work can help us be more effective in our studies and careers. Mr. Leonard also expressed concern about students today lacking a sense of purpose in their studies, which resonated with me.
In response, I decided to take some time for self-reflection. I uninstalled all my social media apps and isolated myself from people for a week to think about my life and my purpose. It was a challenging time, but ultimately, it helped me reaffirm my commitment to my studies and to helping others. ✅✅
As part of that commitment, I decided to deliver a workshop for my Year 3 juniors who are starting their internships next month. While preparing for the exam, I also worked on the workshop slides, creating 60 pages of slides in 12 hours. I was determined to make a positive impact on these students' lives and careers. 🔥
As someone who has lost their way before, I kept asking myself why I wanted to organize this workshop. Was it for personal gain or to help others? Ultimately, I decided to obey my conscience and do what I felt was the right thing to do. 👍
On the day of the workshop, I was disappointed to see that the turnout was lower than my target. 🥺 However, I soon realized that even if only one person attended, they would be able to share the knowledge with others and create a ripple effect of positive impact. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my knowledge and help others succeed. 😊😊
In the midst of exam preparation and self-reflection, I had to face another bittersweet moment - saying goodbye to a good friend who was an exchange student. 😭 I was physically exhausted and initially hesitated to spend time with her before she left, but then I started to question myself, "Will I regret it if I don't make time for her?" and "When will we meet again?" I didn't want to have any regrets, so I mustered up the energy to spend some quality time with her before she departed. We created some really good memories together during our hangout and it was a reminder to me of the importance of cherishing the time we have with those we care about. It was a great lesson in learning to prioritize relationships and not taking them for granted. 🫂🫂
Finally, after all the hard work, I had some time to indulge in my hobby: playing guitar. Every day, I found a different spot to play, and it was a wonderful way to relax and unwind. 🌴🎸
Reflecting on this month, I am proud of the progress I have made academically and personally. By focusing on my studies, self-care, and helping others, I am confident that I am on the right track to achieving my goals. 💖💖
Month 6 (March 2023)
Academic: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Relationship: ⭐⭐☆☆☆
Self-care: ⭐⭐☆☆☆
It was Mid-Sem break, and I was looking forward to taking a break and relaxing. However, I didn't go back to my hometown and instead moved to a new hostel. Unfortunately, the ventilation in the new hostel was terrible, and I felt suffocated.
As a result, I ended up spending most of my time in the FYP lab, where I was working on my FYP sprint. It was a busy month for me as I was working on my FYP sprint, and I had to stay up many nights to complete my work. I relied heavily on double-shot cappuccinos to keep me going, but it ended up costing me RM 30 every day. 😭😭
However, my hard work paid off, and I made significant progress on my FYP project. This experience taught me to be more self-disciplined and avoid procrastination, as it only creates more stress. 🥳🥳
Towards the end of the month, the new semester started, and I was excited about the courses. I particularly loved the instructor, Dr. Gan, was very passionate about teaching, and we could feel her sincerity and efforts. I hope she continues teaching, as I believe she is a great asset to the university. 🧑🏫🧑🏫
However, not everything was wonderful in March. At some point, I felt burnt out and found myself doing silly things like paying for pump 3 but using pump 4 when filling up petrol, and forgetting my wallet when I wanted to buy dinner. 😭😭😭😭
I was angry at myself but soon realized that these were signs of burnout.😶🌫️😶🌫️ These were clear signs that I needed to take a break and cut down on my workload.
I realized that an idle mind is the workshop of evil, so I took steps to manage my stress levels. Despite the challenges I faced, I remained grateful for the progress I had made on my FYP project, and it kept me motivated to keep going. I learned that even when everything feels like it's falling apart, there is always something to be thankful for. 💖😊💖😊
In the end, I decided to adopt Dory's mantra from the movie 'Finding Dory' and just keep swimming.
Month 7 (April 2023)
Academic: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Relationship: ⭐⭐☆☆☆
Self-care: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I'd name this month as Month of Reborn. I went through a period of heightened anxiety and sadness, but surprisingly found moments of joy and growth through the setbacks I faced. 😭😖😊😊
The first half of the month wasn't great, as I faced a few setbacks while trying to prepare for the progress demo presentation of my FYP. Unfortunately, it was a last-minute preparation, and I had to consume a lot of caffeine to stay awake. ☕☕As a result, I wasn't able to perform well during the demo. 👎👎I learned a valuable lesson about time management and prioritization.
Despite the setbacks, I made time for iftar with my friends and foster our bond during Ramadhan. However, things took a turn for the worse as I encountered more setbacks, and it was painful. Initially, I thought I couldn't move on from them. But thankfully, my friends helped me through this phase, and I realized the value of their support. 💟💞💞
In addition, I deactivated my social media accounts to gain mental peace. I used to spend a few hours on social media every day, but quitting it was the best decision I ever made. Social media used to be like poison to me☠️☠️, and I realized that most things we see there may not be real, and it could trigger us. So, I decided to take a break to gain some clarity.
It took me more than two weeks to move on from the setback, but it was worth it. I realized that throughout my university life, I had been busy with things that I disliked. I never paused and asked myself what I wanted until the setbacks hit me. ⏯️
I decided to let go of things that I used to care about a lot and live a life that I'm passionate about. The peace that followed was unprecedented, and I now look forward to each day with a renewed sense of purpose. 🏃♀️🏃♀️
In fact, many people had advised me to take a pause from my busy lifestyle, but I never listened to them. However, the setbacks I faced made me realize that taking a break can be a blessing in disguise. It allowed me to focus on my priorities, and I'm grateful for the support I received from my friends during this time. 💞
My lifestyle is now much more disciplined, and I make sure to finish daily tasks and plan my next day's tasks ahead. So, when I wake up, I already know what I need to do. Since I no longer use social media, I have more time to do the things that I love, such as reading bible✝️, traveling to new places✈️, playing guitar🎸, and exercising 🚵.
In addition to the personal growth I experienced, I also managed to complete most my assignments two weeks ahead of schedule. 🥳🥳This allowed me to focus on my FYP and gave me some breathing room to prepare for the upcoming test season.
Finishing my assignments earlier than usual was a massive accomplishment for me, and it made me feel more productive and in control of my studies. I no longer felt overwhelmed by looming deadlines and was able to channel my energy into the things that mattered most to me. 💪💪
I have come to realize that we are free, and happiness is a choice.
We have the power to choose how we live our lives, and I'm grateful for the freedom to choose my path. This month has taught me that setbacks and challenges can be blessings in disguise. Thank God. ✝️🥰🥰
Month 8 (May 2023)
Academic: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Relationship: ⭐⭐☆☆☆
Self-care: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
This month has been quite a whirlwind with assignments and juggling multiple tasks. Amidst the hustle and bustle, I've made some positive changes in my routine. I've started incorporating low-fat milk and whole wheat bread into my daily diet, a small step toward taking better care of myself.
With so much on my plate, it's no surprise that things have felt a bit overwhelming. On top of everything, I've also begun working on my final report for my FYP. There's a touch of worry about how well I'll do, but I'm giving it my all and maintaining my focus.
I even received an invitation to share my experiences from my senior year in a forum setting. However, I decided to decline as I feel these types of discussions can sometimes only scratch the surface. Right now, my main priority is to excel in what I'm currently engaged in.
Month 9 (June 2023)
Academic: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Relationship: ⭐⭐☆☆☆
Self-care: ⭐⭐⭐☆☆
This marks my final month at Hilti, as my six-month contract is coming to an end. Unexpectedly, a mango smashed my windshield, which was quite a challenge. Despite the situation, I handled it on my own by arranging for a mechanic and sending the car to a workshop about 10 kilometers away. This incident taught me a valuable lesson – having financial stability is like having the best security guard. Because I had the money to cover the repair expenses, I felt secure and didn't stress about fixing my car. Financial independence is key, especially during unexpected situations like health issues.💰💰 Looking back, this accident might not have been entirely bad – I consider myself lucky to still be safe.
Amid all the challenges, I've reached a big point in my studies this year. On June 19th, I successfully handed in my FYP Final Report. Although the report wasn't perfect, I know I put in a lot of effort. I wish it could have been more complete, but I'm proud of what I've done. It's a major achievement for my studies. 💪💪
Even though I felt pretty tired because of the car incident and all the schoolwork, I kept my motivation up. I kept pushing myself every day, even if it meant staying up late. Despite the difficulties, I'm really grateful for my friends who supported me by bringing food during those late hours. 😍
In the middle of everything, I had the chance to fly to Microsoft KL for a workshop. It was a good break, and it helped me recharge while I was also working hard on my assignments and getting ready for tests. 🔋🔋
Month 10 (July 2023)
Academic: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Relationship: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
Self-care: ⭐⭐☆☆☆
This month was a roller-coaster ride. My FYP presentation was set for July 11, right after my birthday.🤣 I had a bunch of bugs to fix in a short time. It was tough and I felt worn out from the workload. I was rushing to finish my FYP and dealing with tests and assignments too.
I was really tired and knew I couldn't get everything done perfectly on time. Since FYP was a big deal, I asked my lecturers for more time for assignments. They understood and agreed. I ended up having only about 3 hours of sleep for days in a row. 🥱🥱🥱 Then, just 3 days before the presentation, I got food poisoning and got stuck in bed. 🤮🤮 But even though I was sick, I kept working in the lab. My friends saw I wasn't well. Two of them offered help with my project. We stayed up late every night. Other friends pitched in too, some even from different places. One friend from KL visited USM for a while and still helped a lot. 🫂🙏🙏
On July 11, I felt confident for the presentation, but it didn't go well because of a tech problem. My laptop's cable didn't connect to the projector. We tried everything, even restarting my laptop, but nothing worked. So, I presented using my supervisor's laptop. It messed up my thoughts, and the presentation wasn't good. 😭😭😭
Usually, I check everything the day before, but this time I couldn't because I was rushing. I learned a big lesson.
I left the presentation room feeling upset. 😭 My friends comforted me and guided me to rest. I couldn't sleep, so I went to computer shops to fix my laptop's problem. But they couldn't fix it. I got an adapter instead, and the next day, I went to the room to check if it worked. It worked!!! 🥳🥳🥳
Even though I felt bad about what happened, I had another chance on July 25 to present to my client. Thankfully, it went well and my supervisor liked it too. I felt a lot better. Instead of staying sad, I chose to move forward and do better next time.
Finally, I could sleep without worries! Even though I still had unfinished assignments, things felt lighter. My friends wanted to celebrate my birthday on July 12. Some got me cakes, some treated me to meals, and all of them sent me warm wishes. 🎂🎂🎂Even though my friend group isn't big, their kindness means a lot to me.